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You hate the way you feel, what are you going to do about it?

My new work out

My new work out

(This post is not in any way sponsered by Jillian Michaels.)

I’m really tired of hearing people staying in toxic situations. They stay were they feel ugly, or stupid, or like they aren’t worth the air they breath. It’s abuse. And it’s NOT healthy. If you hate the person you see in the mirror, it’s not up to anybody else to fix it. It’s up to you. You have to climb out from under the rock you hide under and stand up for yourself. I know it’s easier when you have support, but in life, we don’t always get that support. I do thankfully have a husband that supports my working out, but when I was younger I had to motivate myself.

Every religion out there says you were created. Well, except maybe Agnostic. And if you’re agnostic, I just feel bad for you because you can’t make up your mind enough to believe in anything. But here’s the truth. If you believe in God, you believe you were created in the image of God. If you are Buddhist, you believe the world has been created dozens of times. The fact still remains, you believe you were created. If you are created, and there is a creator, then you were made to do what? CREATE. If we are made to create, then we create our own self destruction or thrive.

I hate the way I look. Two kids in two years has taken a toll on my body. I have curves in places that shouldn’t have curves and my face is so round I feel like I have marshmallows for cheeks. I can sit here and continue to hate how I look, or I can take a realistic look at my options and do something about it. I could go on one of those diets, but truthfully, I hate diets. I end up eating worse an gaining even more weight. I can go to the gym, I don’t have two/three hours to get ready, go work out, drive home, shower and hope my kids behave. I can go for a run. Yeah, that just sound miserable. So I opted to do dvd work outs. It’s great. I put it in when I have some time, get my work out in and then hopefully shower without two babies playing in the bottom of the tub. But either way, I’m done in the time frame I can manage.

I made a choice. I choose to do something about my self hate. Some people I’ve been talking to lately are in toxic relationships. They aren’t even in committed relationships, at least on the other end! Tell me this, how does it make sense to let someone live with you, treat you like hell, while you provide everything? Not to mention the fact that you may or may not have kids who are learning not to respect their mother WHO does the raising when jack a$$ decides you aren’t worth their time. I’m sorry. If it’s committed, I will leave that to you to decide, but if they aren’t even faithful, why THE HECK are you putting up with it? I can’t think of a single person who deserves that kind of life. You are of more value than that. You deserve someone who treats you with respect. You deserve someone who actually cares about your goals and plans for life. If you don’t have goals and plans, that’s part of your problem. You are allowing people to come in to YOUR life and take you feel bad about who you are.

When I was a teenager, I was bigger than most of my friends. I was taller, curvier, and just all around bigger. I put inspirational quotes, verses, and pictures of beautiful women who weren’t a size two in my mirror. Why? So I had a positive role model. You don’t like the way you are treated, take one step. Set one boundary and STICK with it.

You will not make me feel bad about myself. If you chose to say horrible things to me, I will choose to walk away (kick you out, punch you, whatever you have the courage to stick with!).

Once you have conquered one, take another step.

I don’t like the way I look, I will work out 2 days a week. After you get to 2 days, add a 3rd. After 3 add another day…. Keep baby stepping it until you look and feel the way you want to! I know this seems like common sense, but sometimes you have to step out in faith. You deserve better, just like I deserve to like the way I look.

Be realistic. Change won’t happen over night. It’s a decision you have to make every day. I can’t just choose to work out once and look amazing. And even if I do work out every day, I will never be a Victoria’s Secret model. I don’t think I’d even want to. Dang do those girls even know what a hamburger looks like? I just want to slim down a little and be the best version of me possible.

Open the door and seize the day…

Climb away

Climb away

And this is how we sit now

And this is how we sit now

Well it’s finally happened! Blue Eyes can open doors. He’s been running since 7 months. He’s been climbing on things just as long. And now, it’s happened. He can open the doors. My life won’t be nearly as simple as it used to be. I put him to bed about 830 like normal. I thought he was out cold. I didn’t hear any noises and he was so happy to take his blankie and curl up with his milk. I was starting to consider going to bed myself when I see a blonde head pop up from behind the couch. Super quiet he came over and gave me a hug and goes “mom, mom” and then takes his blankie over to the big floor cushion I made, curls up and sits there with his cars driving them on the couch.

He’s being so good and quiet that I can’t send him back to bed. He also didn’t get his second nap until way later than normal. So maybe he can have some mommy time. He’s now playing in the curtains, laying there like it’s a vertical blanket. Our whole family has been sick lately. It started with daddy and eventually went to both kids and mommy. It hasn’t been too bad but daddy is cranky and grouchy. Blue Eyes needs more sleep but seems to make him sleep less. Little bug needs more sleep, but she’s doing okay.

Little bug is amazing. She got onto blue eye’s schedule so quickly. She wants to go to bed at 800 and if you don’t put her to bed, she will cry until you wrap her up and tuck her in. She only gets up at midnight and four. I’m so blessed. She is smiling now, and has even managed to roll herself over a couple times. I’m not sure where that falls on the timeline of development, but I’m pretty proud of my little girl.
pretty girl

Circle of Mom’s top 25 voting time!

Please vote for me for this years top 25 bloggers!

Dear Freshly Pressed…. WhAt’S in a Name?

Dear Freshly Pressed,
I am addicted to checking for new posts. They are random, inspiring, and sometimes dreadful. In all, a variety that’s as addicting as a Soap Opera or Pretty Little Liars. There is however one blog I think you need to seriously consider in your quest for amazingness. When I was pregnant with my son, I stumbled upon an amazing group of women. They come from every nationality and every walk of life. This group started off with basic pregnancy worries, but has become a support group for a little boy named George.

George was diagnosed with Wiskott–Aldrich syndrome. (WAS) is an autoimmune disorder that causes bruising and bleeding over minor injuries. When they get sick it can quickly become life threatening and the chances of catching Lymphoma are high. This little boy has just reached a year old and is already looking for a life with blood transfusions and sickness.

His mother and father have spent more days in the hospital than out with this wonderful little boy. The youngest baby in our pregnancy group, we have all laughed and cried with his family as they struggled to understand what was happening to their little boy and how to help him fight for his life. His mother organized coloring contests for the children at the hospital and even in their time at home, they have sent care packages to other families in the group. They keep smiling photos coming and all of us cheer when she announces they can go home.

The sense of helplessness to give them hope and comfort remain at times. The best I can do is draw attention to it. There are diseases like autism, diabetes and cancer that have famous representatives to support them. WAS is not well-known. It’s research for help is not as widely known or contributed to. My dear friend deserves better for herself, her husband and that beautiful little boy.

George's First Birthday

George’s First Birthday

This post came from my friend’s blog and breaks my heart. Please click on the title to see her blog. It is the worst fear of all mothers.

“So here I am, compiling a list of questions to ask George’s consultants on Wednesday about his upcoming transplant but there is only one question I can’t shake but feel terrible for thinking it.
What if he dies?
As a mother there is no worse thought than coming home to a house full of his toys, clothes, teddies, bottles but with no baby. No George.

A life without George is one I can’t imagine, a hell. A world with no smiles or giggles. I can imagine however the pain I would feel, the heart break when I see a piece of paper I’ve scribbled his name on or the steam on the shower uncovers an ‘I heart George’ I drew on the the glass once.
The smell on his teddies that I would one day no longer be able to smell him on. His clothes piled in a corner.

What parent deserves the heartache like this? Heartache some parents do have to feel. What do these people do to deserve this? Why us? Why them?

We travel tomorrow and I know I am going to want to break down every time I even think about the pain and suffering George is going to have to go through to battle this but I can’t. I need to keep it together for George. He’s here now and that’s all that matters.

I love him. He needs me. I need him.

I will update on what the doctors say probably Thursday, and write everything we have been told.

Wish us luck.”

In my own research I have found several sites that support WAS financially or by bone marrow donation. Please click on the links below to find more information.

WAS Community -Support

Bone Marrow Donor

Boston Children’s Hospital Definition of WAS

Children’s Hospital Definition

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