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We’re having a baby… and daddy’s deployed.

I’m seven month pregnant now. It feels like it’s just flying by. I actually feel better this pregnancy than I did with my first two, and I’m pretty sure I have my first two babies to thank for that. I run after them constantly. The result is a slightly fitter mommy, and I haven’t gained a whole lot of unnecessary weight. I’m tired, but honestly, what pregnant lady isn’t tired? My kids are acting up, but once again, what kid doesn’t act up when they can sense their world is about to change yet again? My dogs are being horrible, for proof, just look at my dog shaming post. 🙂 But overall, I really can’t complain.

Blue Eyes is excited for a baby brother. He keeps telling me we are naming the baby Silver. Not exactly a name I would pick for my kiddo, but at least Blue Eyes is happy at the idea of another baby. I’m not sure he quite understands that the baby will be born as just that, a baby. I’m pretty sure he thinks the baby will be Snow White’s size, and they’ll be able to play right away. I feel a little bad for the surprise he’s about to get.

I’m pretty sure Snow White realizes something is about to happen. All she wants to do lately is snuggle with mommy. We also found out she needs some testing for her hearing, so I’m hoping to have all of that worked out before the baby gets here. They think it’s a really simple fix, like needing tubes in her ears, but as a mommy, I will feel better knowing how we can take the next steps to help my baby girl in growing.

Now that it’s obvious I’m getting close to the end, I get never ending questions. Was this baby planned? Are you going to keep going? You can’t have just three you know. Do you have a name? How are the kids handling it? How’s your hubby doing with it? Oh your husband is deployed? Will he be back in time? He won’t? Oh you poor thing… you should have planned better…

Here’s the deal, don’t tell me we should have planned better. Every baby is a blessing, and even if it’s not the “ideal” time, I’m so excited to have this baby. To hear people act like this baby is an inconvenience is offensive and rude.

And it’s not poor me. I signed up for the military life when I signed papers to enlist. I didn’t expect to marry a military man, but I knew what I was getting into, unlike a lot of wives, I knew what it would look like. I count it lucky that he’s been gone as little as he has. Since having kids, he has rarely been gone. He was gone for two months right after Blue Eyes was born, and since then only little periods here and there. He’s made it to two of our kids births, and every birthday so far. That’s rare for a military family. I count my blessings.

Yes, I’m afraid.

Who wouldn’t be? I don’t want to be alone when I have this baby, and God willing my mom will be here in time. But I’m not so worried about me being here alone as I’m worried about my kids. Thankfully I have made some great friends here, that I know will take care of my babies until a family member or myself can be home.

Yes, I’m sad my husband won’t be here.

But tears won’t help me. What I need is to be as organized as possible. To find out if there is a chance of being able to FaceTime the birth, or if I can have someone available to send him pictures through email as soon as possible. Finding ways to let my husband be here, even if he can’t physically be here. After all, it’s his baby and he’s got more to adjust to when he comes home than people realize. He was gone most of the pregnancy. He didn’t get to see the ultrasounds. He didn’t get to see my belly grow, or feel the kicks. His gender reveal was a picture I set up with the kids so he had something cute to see. He hasn’t gotten to buy the baby clothes, or put sheets on our well loved crib. He hasn’t had the time to prepare that I have. He left with two kids and he’s coming home to three. Talk about scary!

No, I’m not strong.

I do this because I have to. I’m not strong. I break down, and cry. Blue Eyes has become very sensitive to mommy’s crying, and tries to take care of me. But it doesn’t make me weak either. It shows my babies that I’m human, that I miss daddy as much as they do. And that’s okay.

Would I do it again?

Yes! A million times yes. This is my baby and I can’t wait to meet him. This is our last baby as far as we have planned, but that makes this pregnancy all the more important. Hopefully people can understand that. And maybe it will help someone else who is giving birth alone.

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