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One day at a time

Life changes come one day at a time. For three months now I have been working out. I didn’t say anything because I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. I haven’t lost drastic amounts of weight, and I don’t look a whole lot different, but I feel better. I have more energy. I feel stronger. The next step for me was to increase water. I went from about 60 ounces a day to 100-130 ounces. It took some getting used to, but my skin feels healthier and not so dry. I am starting to have more days between migraines. I still struggle with sugar. I love my sweets. But even so I am making choices one day at a time to kick my sugar addiction. I learned how to give myself medication injections to help control my migraines. Believe me, I cried the first time I pulled the needles out. But it gets a little easier. And I’ve made less emergency room visits. I’m not at the point of letting my kids see me with the needles yet, but I hope someday it won’t scare them and they will know it lets me live a normal life. 
It may seem like a bummer to cut out sweets and to carve time out of my day when I’d rather do something else, but I’ve only got one life. I have three beautiful kids that I want to be around for. I want them to see me fight for my health. And I want them to know I take care of myself so I can take care of them. And as a reward, I got myself some new leggings to work out in! 



You hate the way you feel, what are you going to do about it?

My new work out

My new work out

(This post is not in any way sponsered by Jillian Michaels.)

I’m really tired of hearing people staying in toxic situations. They stay were they feel ugly, or stupid, or like they aren’t worth the air they breath. It’s abuse. And it’s NOT healthy. If you hate the person you see in the mirror, it’s not up to anybody else to fix it. It’s up to you. You have to climb out from under the rock you hide under and stand up for yourself. I know it’s easier when you have support, but in life, we don’t always get that support. I do thankfully have a husband that supports my working out, but when I was younger I had to motivate myself.

Every religion out there says you were created. Well, except maybe Agnostic. And if you’re agnostic, I just feel bad for you because you can’t make up your mind enough to believe in anything. But here’s the truth. If you believe in God, you believe you were created in the image of God. If you are Buddhist, you believe the world has been created dozens of times. The fact still remains, you believe you were created. If you are created, and there is a creator, then you were made to do what? CREATE. If we are made to create, then we create our own self destruction or thrive.

I hate the way I look. Two kids in two years has taken a toll on my body. I have curves in places that shouldn’t have curves and my face is so round I feel like I have marshmallows for cheeks. I can sit here and continue to hate how I look, or I can take a realistic look at my options and do something about it. I could go on one of those diets, but truthfully, I hate diets. I end up eating worse an gaining even more weight. I can go to the gym, I don’t have two/three hours to get ready, go work out, drive home, shower and hope my kids behave. I can go for a run. Yeah, that just sound miserable. So I opted to do dvd work outs. It’s great. I put it in when I have some time, get my work out in and then hopefully shower without two babies playing in the bottom of the tub. But either way, I’m done in the time frame I can manage.

I made a choice. I choose to do something about my self hate. Some people I’ve been talking to lately are in toxic relationships. They aren’t even in committed relationships, at least on the other end! Tell me this, how does it make sense to let someone live with you, treat you like hell, while you provide everything? Not to mention the fact that you may or may not have kids who are learning not to respect their mother WHO does the raising when jack a$$ decides you aren’t worth their time. I’m sorry. If it’s committed, I will leave that to you to decide, but if they aren’t even faithful, why THE HECK are you putting up with it? I can’t think of a single person who deserves that kind of life. You are of more value than that. You deserve someone who treats you with respect. You deserve someone who actually cares about your goals and plans for life. If you don’t have goals and plans, that’s part of your problem. You are allowing people to come in to YOUR life and take you feel bad about who you are.

When I was a teenager, I was bigger than most of my friends. I was taller, curvier, and just all around bigger. I put inspirational quotes, verses, and pictures of beautiful women who weren’t a size two in my mirror. Why? So I had a positive role model. You don’t like the way you are treated, take one step. Set one boundary and STICK with it.

You will not make me feel bad about myself. If you chose to say horrible things to me, I will choose to walk away (kick you out, punch you, whatever you have the courage to stick with!).

Once you have conquered one, take another step.

I don’t like the way I look, I will work out 2 days a week. After you get to 2 days, add a 3rd. After 3 add another day…. Keep baby stepping it until you look and feel the way you want to! I know this seems like common sense, but sometimes you have to step out in faith. You deserve better, just like I deserve to like the way I look.

Be realistic. Change won’t happen over night. It’s a decision you have to make every day. I can’t just choose to work out once and look amazing. And even if I do work out every day, I will never be a Victoria’s Secret model. I don’t think I’d even want to. Dang do those girls even know what a hamburger looks like? I just want to slim down a little and be the best version of me possible.

Kicking my butt in gear

My daughter is seven months. I think it’s time I stop kidding myself. This weight is not coming off without some butt kicking. It was the same way with blue eyes. I had to stop hoping weight would come off and get myself in gear. I’m good at that. I almost like the torture of working out. Once I’ve decided to do it, I’m pretty good about following through. Well, until there are people around.

Realistically, I do not have time for the gym. As much as I prefer it for working out, being a stay at home mom, full-time online student, and taking care of the house, I really just don’t have time. And when I do, I’d rather spend my time with my husband. So that rules out the gym. I won’t walk around the block. I don’t like our town. It’s not pretty, and there really isn’t great walking places. Not to mention I would have to pack up both kids in the stroller, and then if I don’t want the dogs to tear apart the house, I need to take them as well. Three dogs and a stroller, is way to much, when you really want to work out.

I don’t own an elliptical, or a tread mill. Don’t get me wrong, I would love one, but I can’t see spending the money on it. So I looked at other choices. Then I found it…. I have Amazon Prime. I love Amazon prime. They are great about prices and shipping, but that’s not my point. (Amazon did not indorse this). Since I have prime, I have the ability to watch some movies on demand. This includes a crazy variety of exercise videos. And when I say crazy, I mean crazy. Some, I would not try if my life depends on it. I finally found it, Jillian Michaels. If you haven’t heard of her, she’s the insane work out lady who helps people on the Biggest Loser. Yep, if I’m feeling crappy about my weight, she’s the one who would kick it in gear.

Day 1, didn’t go so well. Twenty minutes into the video, I ended up collapsing and turning it off. Praying I would be able to breathe again. Day 2, not so bad. There are a lot of exercises I would have to stop and breathe for, but I made it. Day 3, hubby was home, so we decided to walk the round trip to the store. It was a good hour and a half walk. Not so bad…. then Day 4, hit. Day 4, I had a major migraine. The kind that I normally would go in to the doctor for it. So I had to skip. 1 day out of 4, I’m not doing to bad.

Today, I’m right back at it. I want to be fit. I want to be able to do things with my kids without being out of breath, or without getting any bigger. I want to get rid of anything that may hinder my chances of getting migraines to go away. And most of all, I don’t want to cringe when I look in the mirror. It’s going to be a bumpy road, but I can’t wait.

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