Guest Blogger: 10 Ways Being a MilSpouse is Like Skydiving For the First Time

Guest Blogger: Jill Pohl Milspouse Life

10 Ways Being a MilSpouse is Like Skydiving For the First Time

Jill Pohl

The first time I went skydiving was on my 27th birthday. I was young, not sure what I had gotten myself into, and simultaneously excited and nervous. Sounds like getting married to a military man, right? Looking back, that day was filled with so many emotions and experiences, that I can’t help but see the similarities between that 7 hour period and the 5 years (so far) I have been married to my Air Force husband:

1) Everyone else who has already done it has advice for you, but you know that no amount of advice can fully prepare you.

People always have something to say about marriage. You may have heard something truly inspirational, and retained it. You may have heard something truly inspirational, and forgotten it. Either way, people love to provide unsolicited advice, and whether its good or not, made you upset or made you excited, you took it all with a grain of salt. No marriage is alike, and as much as people try to categorize and stereotype military marriages, they are particularly dissimilar. We all move to different places, respond uniquely to military challenges, and interact differently with our service members. That’s what makes military marriage such an adventure.

2) People keep asking you if you’re scared.

All the way up to the day I left to jump, people asked me this question. Every time I talk about my husband deploying, people ask me this question. It doesn’t help anything. It just makes you think, “Well I wasn’t. But now, should I be?” This won’t change the fact that we will all probably hear it all our lives.

3) You’ve got a lot of equipment, and you’re not sure you know what to do with it.

As military spouses, we try and try to prepare. We equip our families mentally and physically: we make sure our spouses have their uniforms ready to go and all the equipment they need (even though we don’t always know what it does). We give them pep talks just as much as they give us pep talks. But oftentimes, none of us really know if there’s weight behind our words. Will it really “all be okay?” Are you really going to feel “just fine?” Maybe not. But we prepare, we say what we need to say to provide encouragement, and that’s all we can do. Even if we don’t fully know what’s going on and if we have everything we need for the next adventure, we just keep truckin’ on.

4) There’s a seemingly endless amount of “hurry up and wait.”

“Hurry up and wait” is also practically a military motto. We’ve all heard our service member say it to describe a day at work. We’ve all felt it when making calls to Tricare, finding out about an impending PCS move, or trying to move any kind of paperwork through the bureaucracy on base. It’s part of our lives.

5) Right before you take the jump, you realize that you have no idea why you decided to do it.

After discussing so many times with my service member what military life would ask of us, I truly did wonder, why was I still doing this? It was love, of course, but couldn’t I have fallen in love with someone whose life was a little less, well, unsettled? Why did I even let myself fall in love with someone whose career asked so much of us both? Why did I think it would all be okay, when it has already been so hard? We’ve all asked ourselves these questions, especially in the hardest moments. And even though we know the answer, it doesn’t mean we don’t still ask.

6) As you get ready to go, someone tells you you’re jumping out of the plane doing a barrel roll, or throws some other kind of curveball.

We all know that we can plan all we want and something still will go against all of our prep work. You think your spouse is going to deploy in August, and all of a sudden you find out that something got messed up with the paperwork, and he’ll have to go later. You’d already been prepared. Or you find out you’re pregnant, and your spouse is going to Squadron Officer School right around your due date. It’s the military. It happens.

7) Sitting in your partner’s lap, you realize how important they are to you. Your lives are in one another’s hands.

With your military spouse, you go through so much together, how could you not value one another so tremendously? Maybe you’ve only been married for 5 years, like myself, but so much has happened that you are even closer than most longer-married couples.

8) By the time the parachute deploys, you think you’ve gotten through the worst of it. Then you throw up.

Okay, so my military marriage has never made me throw up. But that parachute deploying, that moment of relief, comes in any military marriage, multiple times. Your service member is back from deployment, or a very long stint at a training program. Finally, he’s home and you have a partner again.

Until you realize that it’s not all better. He’s tired, and not in a great mood. You both aren’t used to having each other around. You argue over small things. You’ll get back into the groove, but let’s be honest, it takes a while.

9) There’s a free fall that feels like it will never end. When the free fall does end, you realize it wasn’t so bad.

As a milspouse, deployments, moves, finding a new job or new school, all feel daunting. When you come out on the other side, you realize it usually (though there are always exceptions) wasn’t as awful as you’d expected. Sometimes the anticipation really is worse.

10) You may not land on your feet, but you land, your partner’s with you, and you both have huge smiles on your faces as you high-five one another.

Do I need to explain this one? It feels great to jump. And it feels great to be married to someone who you take big risks with all the time, because at the end of the day, you’re together and you’re happy.

Citation:

“Lemons” photo credit: Alyssa & Colin via photopin cc
“Scared” photo credit: Christopher Cotrell
“In the waiting line” photo credit: fly
“Don’t Panic Don’t Panic” photo credit: Barbara Abate
“Emma looks surprised” photo credit: the Jbird
“Trust” photo credit: purplejavatroll
“Dizzy” photo credit: THX0477
“Helena (#90268)” photo credit: Mark J. Sebastian

Guestblogger: Why Hipsters are the Most Annoying People on the Face of the Planet

Before you get on your high and mighty horse, the author of this post is in actually a bit of a hipster without meaning to be. Maybe it’s her personality, maybe it’s her choice of dress, but she does tend to be a little on the hipster side. Now, if you excuse my bluntness, be rude to my little sister and I don’t need you to come back to this page, ever. Period. My family is more important to me than some random strangers opinion. I offered her a spot in my blog, because I find her humorous. I find what she says to be dead on sometimes, and sometimes she says what nobody else will. I’m not sure why people lose their respect online, but I won’t allow rude comments on my blog. A blog is an opinion. You don’t like it, don’t read it.

Guestblogger:

Why hipsters are the most annoying people on the face of the planet

Now, I know what your thinking, “I thought fan girls were the most annoying

people on the face of the planet.” Well dear readers, I have taken that into

careful consideration and come to the conclusion that although the constant

squealing is both annoying and confusing, at least the fan girl is more than happy to

live and let live. They don’t care if you don’t see what the big deal with Snape from

Harry Potter is. In fact, most of them actually like the general population not getting

it. It’s their thing and they couldn’t care less who judges them.

from http://favim.com/image/245857/

No, the most annoying people on the face of the planet award definitely

belongs with the hipster.

4) The Clothes:

Hipster Outfit: Johnny Depp
From: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2282533/Johnny-Depp-looking-cool-saunters-streets-New-York-perform-live-music-Letterman.html

The easiest way to instantly identify a hipster is by his or her wardrobe. A

typical outfit in the life of a hipster consists of skinny jeans, boots, a leather or even

pleather jacket, some sort of oversized hat, and chunky glasses. This outfit is the

same regardless of sex.

In and of itself that isn’t a bad outfit, in fact in some cases it’s attractive. The

problem is that every single hipster out there is wearing the exact same thing. The

extent of the variation is to scarf or not to scarf.

If a hipster committed a crime, and ten people were put in a lineup, there

would be no possible way for the victim to ID the criminal. In fact they would not

even be able to narrow it down to sex. I’m surprised more hipsters don’t branch out

for that very reason.

3) The coffee shop:

I am not sponsored by any of these brands, although I do enjoy a good cup of coffee

This part I just don’t get. Hipsters are a group of nonconformists. Coffee

shops are about the most conformist thing in existence. I literally cannot think of a

more conformist thing to do than sit in a coffee shop with your Mac writing a

screenplay. Yet somehow this group of nonconformists has it written in their tool

handbook that that is exactly what they should be doing. How does that make sense?

2) Toolhood:

urbandictionary.com

Have you ever met a hipster that wasn’t a huge tool? If your answer is yes,

then you’ve never met a hipster. Congratulations and where do you live? Sadly the

first rule of being a hipster is that you must, at all costs, be an ass. If anyone has a

different opinion from you it’s because they are ignorant and mainstream. If

someone walks into “your” coffee shop and orders a beverage that is not on the

approved drink list (full list located on page 38 of the tool handbook), they must be

scoffed at. Tool.

1) The music:

just too cute

Enough said.

Disclaimer:
My sister (guestblogger) wants you to know the pictures are all me. :0)

If the Disney Princesses were hipster
Cinderella, Pocahontas, Snow White, Ariel, Tiana

Mulan, Rapunzel, Anastasia, Aurora

Jasmine, Kida, Belle

Guest Blogger: Mesothelioma Cancer Awareness

New Mesothelioma Statistics and Facts Page -Jennifer Bigaman
http://www.asbestos.com/blog/2011/07/20/new-mesothelioma-statistics-and-facts-page/

Today is Mesothelioma Cancer Awareness Day.
If you’re like me, the most you’ve ever heard about it has come from the late night ads on television. A week or two ago I was contacted by a wonderful lady named Emily Walsh, who is the Community Outreach Director for Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. Taking a closer look at the article, I realized that Mesothelioma is like Breast Cancer was ten years ago. It loomed around us all the time, but nobody really knew anything about it.
Here’s one of the big reasons Emily stumbled upon my blog…”United States Veterans are at the greatest risk….Many veterans and shipyard workers were exposed to high levels of asbestos from several different applications.” Military vetrans, service members still working, and shipyard workers are still exposed to this dangerous form of cancer. I don’t write often about life in the shipyards, but I would believe this statement. I can’t tell you how many nights I stood fire watch while they worked with chemicals that could catch fire. Do me and this wonderful group a favor and take a look at her information. 8 Things You Should Know About Mesothelioma The information could save your military man’s life.

If Emily’s article interests you, here is another site about Mesothelioma, including statistics by state.
Asbestos.com

-MB

Blogging

Blue Eye’s Puppy, Bear

I had all of these ideas about blogging when I started. I have always loved to write, and thought it would be a great way to keep practicing. Honestly, I’m learning that I know absolutely nothing about blogging! It seems that every time I turn around, if I want to learn more, I have to cough up some cold hard cash. That would be fine, if we had it, but sometimes military lives paycheck to paycheck. Maybe eventually we’ll have the money for me to take some classes. Actually the geek in me would love to go to a blogging convention, but I’m okay with what I have at the moment.

I’m starting to meet some amazing people through this blog. I’ve learned that people care what you have to say, even if it’s a goofy story about your kids. Military life is hard enough without feeling alone. I’ve discovered amazing women who, like me, keep their sanity with a little bit of blogging. Thank you to all of the interesting people who have stumbled across my humble page and decide my writing was something worth reading. Thank you to those who think that it’s a blog worth investing some time and offering to guest blog. I’m learning a lot from each of you, and maybe some day I’ll have thousands of followers. But right now, I’m still excited over every new one that comes my way. :0) It’s exciting to see my little page go from one follower (my hubby) to over 80! To me, that’s a huge accomplishment. Especially since I don’t have sponsors, or how to’s or even creative ideas to keep followers interested. This blog is simply, a military wife getting through each day.

THANK YOU!
-MB

Circle of Mom’s top 25 voting time!

Please vote for me for this years top 25 bloggers!

Guest Blogger: The Next Step After Your Military Career: Transitioning Into Civilian Life

I received a request the other day from a fellow blogger. She was wondering if I’d be interested in hosting a blog post from her as a fellow blogger and a future Life and Career Counselor. After reading her potential blog, I was impressed by her research to help Military members finding new careers in their life after the Military. She doesn’t just focus on the Military member, which many people do. She also provided sites that will help Military spouses in a new career. I have found several of these were things I faced when I was first out of the military and trying to find a job. One of the things I personally found hard, was translating my military skills into something that the civilian world would appreciate. These are a few of the sites I found to help my process: Military.com and Department of Veterans’ Affairs.

The Next Step After Your Military Career: Transitioning Into Civilian Life
Guest Blogger: Smile as it Happens

Life in the military was structured and planned. Now that you’re transitioning into the non-military life, you may have doubts about finding a great job and adjusting to life as a civilian. Rest assured that you will be able to find employment because there are many services and programs available to veterans and their families. The first step is overcoming certain misconceptions about finding a job, and I’m here to debunk some of the most common myths associated with job hunting. With effort and determination, you can find your dream civilian job, and it won’t be as frustrating or overwhelming as you might think.

Myth #1: There might be many resources for active service people and veterans, but there aren’t any programs for my spouse.
Truth: Actually, your spouse will find the help he or she needs with programs specifically geared towards military spouses. While it’s true that you have many options as a veteran, your spouse can benefit from organizations tailored to his or her needs. The Military Spouse Partnership program, for example, offers comprehensive career advice including resume help, interview tips and more.

Myth #2: It’s too hard and takes too long to find a job.
Truth: For the last few years, the worldwide economy has been making its way back up, and while there are still some industries on the mend, many companies have been steadily hiring new talent. Many top companies have streamlined their application process so that you can apply online through job boards and other databases. Some have turned to platforms like JIBE, a mobile recruiting company which allow users to upload resumes and important documents directly from their smartphones to the company’s site.

Myth #3: Companies only hire those with consistent work history, and my time in the military will prevent me from getting a job.
Truth: Companies are looking for people with solid work histories and the ability to show up regularly for work, but that doesn’t preclude you from getting a job. In fact, your service as a veteran places you at the front of many resume stacks. Why is this? Federal rules and regulations affect a company’s hiring process as much as anything else, and veterans are often given preference. If you have a service-related injury or have served during certain time periods, then you may receive further consideration. Your military career is a benefit rather than a hindrance to finding great employment.

Myth #4: Only the people who apply for the most jobs actually get hired.
Truth: This has never been true because companies aren’t looking for volume: They’re looking for talent. One strong, well-crafted resume will beat out hundreds of hastily put-together ones. If you take the time to ensure that your resume highlights your skills and attributes and then submit it to companies specifically looking for those traits, then you’ll find a job more easily than someone who simply applies at random to dozens of different jobs. As a veteran, you have a lot to offer employers, and they’re looking for you. It only takes a few good resumes to the right types of companies to find a good job doing what you love.

About the Author:
Emma is a mid 20-something year old with a passion for life, love, fitness, and helping others. She loves to be active and get involved in as many sport and community activities as possible. Emma is currently studying to become a Career & Life Coach, and loves to network with people from around the world! Check out Emma’s blog at http://smileasithappens.blogspot.com/!